Your Focus Determines Your Reality - 2 Confidence Boosters You Can Use Today

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Your Focus determines your reality - 2 confidence boosters You Can use Today

The choice is completely ours to choose what we focus on. Unfortunately, our human brains have predisposed us to seek out and find the negative first and foremost.

We subconsciously spend our days focusing on the negative aspects of our lives such as our flaws, others' flaws, the bad weather, parts of our job we dislike, etc. This creates a negative head-space. We think of one negative thing after another, and before we realize it, we internalize beliefs such as “I will never get better”, “I’m not worthy”, “I can’t”, and “my life’s a mess”. It’s like a snowball of negativity that grows larger and larger as it rolls down the hill.

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You have a choice

On the other hand, we can choose to become aware of our thoughts and make a conscious choice to change what we focus on. We can choose to focus on the positive aspects of our lives such as our assets, others' assets, the beauty of how the rainy weather is preventing drought, and how awesome it is to have job stability and a positive work environment.


A positive focus creates a positive head-space. Once you begin to notice the good in one aspect of your life, it becomes easier and easier to view everything else through that lens of positivity. Where we fail to use this to our advantage is not being conscious of our choices, and so we end up falling into the default negative route our subconscious mind is programmed to focus on. 


You can become more conscious of your focus and swing the pendulum to positivity by: 

  • Becoming aware of what you are focusing on. Ask yourself: What thoughts keep coming up over and over? What is it that "gets to you" most? Use a journal or a notes app on your phone to get your thoughts written out so that you can see them. 

For example, if your disempowering thought is "This is too hard, so I'm probably just not good at it", rewrite it to become a more empowering "If it's hard, putting in more effort will allow me to master it and feel awesome".

Once you take action to shift your focus to empowering thoughts, you will feel better about your life and yourself, which in turn will increase your confidence. Remember, what you focus on most is what you get back!

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Mia Miller is a mother, wife, athlete, and lover of life. She is also a Transformation Mentor, and founder of She works with introspective moms seeking clear life direction to find their true north. She helps them develop the clarity, self-confidence, and can-do mindset to boldly march to the beat of their own drum as they discover renewed purpose, fulfillment, and abundant joy.