The Disadvantages Of High Self-Esteem And What To Focus On Instead

the disadvantages of high self-esteem and what to focus on instead


Are you navigating the world striving for a higher self-esteem or for more confidence? You might ask, “is there a difference?”, to which the answer is “ABSOLUTELY!”. Keep reading for more details about the differences between self-esteem and confidence, and how focusing on one over the other affects your life.


If the way you feel about yourself is improved by success and diminished by failure, then you are talking about self-esteem, not confidence. You feel better about yourself when you get the answer correct, receive that accolade, or receive that compliment.

On the other hand, when you’re told your solution is incorrect or you’re criticized or corrected, you begin to feel down and think negatively about yourself and your abilities. Self-esteem will only get you so far in the world because it’s impossible to always be the best and brightest, which in the end will cause your growth to stagnate.

One way that you might try and boost your self-esteem is by making yourself feel "better than" others by acting arrogant, or by constantly competing. The only way to win in this situation is to lower your standards and make your goals easier to accomplish.

You win in the moment because you feel better about yourself. But in the end, you lose because your ego is big but your self-esteem is vulnerable. 

Are you looking to improve your self-esteem? Click to find out if self-esteem is all it’s cracked up to be. | Transformation Mentor | Beflourished

Take your physical appearance, for example. If your self-esteem revolves around your looks, your body will eventually show signs of age and your self-esteem will plummet.

If you build your self-esteem around being intelligent and suddenly find yourself around more intelligent people, you’ll shrink back. In fact, you’ll probably make it a point to surround yourself with less intelligent people in order to maintain your status as the smartest in your group.

If you build your self-esteem around being right, you’ll damage your relationships by constantly battling your loved ones in order to win and end up losing trust and love. You’ll battle for bad ideas just because their yours, robbing yourself and others of greatness.


Confidence, on the other hand, is not dependent on always being the best or receiving praise from others. Confidence is cultivated by adopting the mindset that failure is an opportunity to grow and get better at things.

Instead of shrinking back when you realize you’re not the most intelligent person in the room, you ask questions, listen, and learn from the people around you. Instead of insisting on being right all of the time, you listen and learn from others’ ideas and find ways to integrate them with your own.

When you are confident, your potential is limitless.

So, will you choose to focus more on gaining self-esteem, or confidence?

Mia Miller is a mother, wife, athlete, and lover of life. She is also a Mindset Coach and Transformation Mentor, and founder of